Fawked Network

Fawked says:
when i was 12 i had a full time job

Panda says:
bull shit
when u were 17 ur mum is still feeding u!
i have to accompany him sleep tonite
lol
hahaha
but he sleep already then i go my room la
dont think i can sleep there

Fawked says:
why need to accompany him?
like a baby your brother

Panda says:
dunno
yea la he damn baby
hahaha
he sleep with my parents one ma
ahahha

Fawked says:
when i was 12 i was camping in the jungle on my own, only had 2 match sticks and a hunting knife. had to make my own camp and hunt for my own food
you know what happens when it rains and you only have 2 match sticks??!!

Fawked:
Why can’t you maintain just 1 phone number?

Clinton says:
im mantaining both
lol

Fawked:
what the fuck for
are you some sort of loan shark?

Clinton says:
yeah

Fawked says:
sweet
lend me some money man

Clinton says:
cant do that
dont do frens money man
we got a code

Fawked says:
why not
scared when i dont pay you have to come kick my ass?

Clinton says:
LOL

Fawked says:
or you afraid i wont pay and kick your ass?

Clinton says:
the latter

Today I read an article at thestar.com.my on a proposed new law that will enable Internet Service Providers (ISP) to suspend or terminate Internet accounts of P2P users. The article calls it the end of “free-and-easy” days of illegal downloading of music and movies. Time and time again I have mentioned that news writers should get their fucking facts right and this time it is no exception. The “free-and-easy” days of illegal downloading ended a long time ago.

As far back as I can think, piracy will always have a sentimental value with me. Back in the day with my trustee 33.6k dialup I would be downloading mp3’s with Napster. Even the mention of Napster gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Downloading one mp3 with 64 or 128kbps bit rate would take me some 40 minutes back then. I managed to hit about 200 mp3’s back then which was pretty awesome among my friends.

After Napster got shutdown I switched to a few different P2P softwares namely Audio Galaxy, Kazaa, Morpheus and finally LimeWire. Kazaa is probably one name that pirates never want to hear about, because if you have used it before you definitely been spammed by the Gator Network. Kazaa brings back some really fucked up memories.

Then out came the bastard brainchild of Bram Cohen, BitTorrent. Fuck downloading single tracks, hello full albums. By this time I had substituted my shitty 33.6k dialup for an ADSL 1mbps. I deleted my entire collection and started re-downloading entire albums. This was a dream come true. I was downloading everything, music, games, movies, softwares, you name it, I’m downloading it. And that was when I came up with a the term, Downloading the Internet. People would ask me what my hobby was and I would say “I’m downloading the Internet”. I had an addiction and it was downloading. I am a download junkie.

One fine day sometime in the year 2006 the submarine cable in Taiwan got fucked and we lost our International connection for a good 2 or 3 weeks. This should be around end of 2006 if I’m not mistaken because I remember I just downloaded Football Manager 2007 and they normally launch the new edition of FM sometime in October. I could have got my dates wrong because I was down with Dengue for the second time and I was all doped up on painkillers. I’ve got Dengue a total of 3 times now, the latest case I was admitted to hospital with a platelet count of 20 out of the normal 150. If your platelets drop to 0, you fucking die. That’s another story for another day.

When the International connection was restored, that was when I noticed I was getting shitty ass speeds at around 5 to 20kbps in total. My normal speeds were 100kbps with my 1mpbs connection. There are reports that bandwidth shaping or Torrent Throttling as it was known, happened earlier in certain parts of Kuala Lumpur. So this my friends, was when the “free-and-easy” days of illegal downloading ended.

So will this proposed new law be implemented? You bet your ass it will. Why? Because it benefits Tm.net. They want us to use their service and they offer unstable high bandwidth at ridiculously stable high prices but they don’t really want us to use it. At least not for downloading illegal shit they claim. The question however is, when will they impose this new law? It’s anybody’s guess, I would think not anytime soon cause they are lazy asses. I’m not even going to touch on the sort of fucking service they offer, you can read about it Unifi here and bandwidth congestion here. Some of you cunts are gonna ask me why I’m using Streamyx if I hate them so much, and the answer is because I do not have a choice. To make it simple for you to understand would be the same reason why you keep fucking the same old ugly bitch, because you don’t have a choice.

Is it a crime to download pirated shit? It seems the only people affected by it are the people that are filthy rich. The most pirated software would have to be Microsoft Windows I think, I’m not sure, but I don’t see Bill Gates living in a bungalow. He lives in a fucking palace. Recently the highest snatched movie is Inception. Do you see Leornado DiCaprio crying because he doesn’t have enough money? Have you heard of a saying “We’re going to disband because we are losing money because of piracy”. You don’t see Bono charging appearance fees when he’s appearing in WWF advertisements do you? The real crime are the ridiculous prices they charge for original shit.

I hate paying for original shit because they are all censored. I can’t even fucking find a decent copy of Marilyn Manson. So what am I supposed to do? Buy songs from Amazon? The acceptable bitrate standard right now is 192kbps. This is based off the lowest standards allowed in main private music trackers like What.cd. No I’m not a member of What.cd and I do not have an invite. The acceptable bitrate for me is 320kbps and above. Anything less than 320kbps is shit. I’ve heard that Amazon sell 192kbps bitrate mp3’s. I could be wrong, so if you bought any mp3’s from Amazon, do let us know of the quality.

So who are the crooks here? The downloaders? The DVD/VCD peddlers on the streets? Personally I despise those guys. P2P is sharing. Those fuckers are making money out of this shit and it is wrong. So if there was anybody that should get busted first, I always believe that it should be them. Clear them out, then start coming after the downloaders. But then again, Torrents are already being blocked by the ISPs, not only in Malaysia but around the world. So what seems to be the issue?

People are always coming up with ways to bypass throttling. Relakks a Swedish VPN provider provided a VPN service that could bypass traffic shaping. It worked well for about 3 months when I was using the free trial service. Just as the trial promotion ended I paid for a whole years subscription, my ISP decided that it would be a good idea to entirely shape the Relakks VPN.

So what is the current situation? There are reports that the MPAA and RIAA have infiltrated torrent trackers to upload fake torrents to catch downloaders. This has caused the torrent trackers to become stricter. Certain private tracker memberships can only be obtained by getting an invite from a current member or admins. Some require you to be interviewed by the admins.

There are tons of individuals and companies around the world providing solutions to encrypt connections and bypass traffic shaping. There are server providers in the UK and Luxembourg providing seedbox services. Wouldn’t it be easier and better to shut those guys down than to bust our ass? Wouldn’t shutting down the private torrent tracker hosters in the Ukraine be more effective?

Pirates will always be pirates. But hey, I’m a law abiding citizen. If you like the software, movie or music, support them by buying it.

P.S If anybody can hook me up with a SceneAccess invite it would be very much appreciated. It will only be used for informational purposes only… really!

This is what the IT guy tells his girlfriend:

“Baby, I have the algorithm in my mind how I wanna sex you up, but my body won’t compute”

It is not too hard to throw a bachelors party, unless you have less than a week to do it. An important rule of the bro code is, never talk about a bachelors party. The women want to know what goes on during the bachelors party, and the bachelor party “virgins” wish they can boast about it. If you have read up till here and wondered “What’s the big deal about a bachelors party? A couple of guys getting drunk and jumping in the pool with their clothes on”. Honey, you are so wrong. If you think you know what goes on during a bachelors party, you do not. If you’re a guy and you’re thinking “Hey I went to a bachelors party before, lots of drinks and women and I got so drunk I passed out”. Dude, you went to a club, not a bachelors party.

One of my best buddies, Bullet, is getting married. You may have read about him in previous stories. Why anyone would want to get married really eludes me. Why would anyone want to spend their rest of their lives with somebody that is going to nag at them? After a while the sex won’t be that great anymore. Comedian Russell Peters has the perfect name for it, onegina. Can anyone live with onegina? Unless I have both X-Box and a PS3, I can’t live with onegina.

Last Saturday we had a meeting and I was given the job to throw him a bachelors party. Now, why the fuck would anyone want me to throw a party? Chances are, we will all get caught and spend the night in a lockup, drunk with a half used condom still hanging on our dicks.

Being the huge ass that I am, I am going to throw him the best fucking bachelors party. The party would be so awesome he would regret getting married and envy the men that are still bachelors. So on Saturday evening I drove out alone in search of a place to throw this party while I think of how to throw him a kick ass bachelors party.

I thought about going over to his house at 6 in the morning, bundle him into the car, while still in his pajamas and drive him off to Bangkok. Not having a passport on him would be an issue. We would have to drive him to Pasir Panjang then smuggle him across the river to Golok. But the thought of getting caught, shot dead or losing a kidney just for a party, didn’t sound too appealing. And when we do reach Bangkok he’s going to know what’s going to happen. We’re going to bang some cocks. There surprise element there.

So I was driving around town aimlessly and little did I know I was starting a little adventure on my own. I ended up at some really shady areas like Lorong Haji Taib. I checked out a motel at the corner of Lorong Haji Taib to check out their rates and what sort of entertainment they had. Oddly enough, they charge by the hour… I wonder why.

My search continued as I again drove aimlessly and ended up at Pertama complex. This area brought back some memories of a person I once knew. There were a few times when 80 of us would just hang out at the LRT station near Pertama complex at 3 in the morning. This person is no longer with us. He passed away at the age of 34, from a heart attack. I always thought he would get killed or spend the rest of his life in jail, but alas, we can’t really choose when or how we die.

I kept on driving and eventually I ended up in Sentul. I was wondering if Bullet would enjoy himself at a Bollywood club… While looking for a possible place to party, I noticed a shady “cyber cafe”. For some reason, I just wanted to go in. So I parked my car and went into this “cyber cafe”. Oddly enough, the computers were all set to a gambling site. So I paid 10 bucks and got myself 10 credits to play roulette. The place smelled kinda bad and I wanted to leave as fast as I sat down. By some chance, the planets aligned and the cosmic rays were shining on me, I won 80 bucks in 7 minutes. Then I wanted to cash out my money and leave with my winnings. The cashier decided he was a smart ass and told me I couldn’t leave for another 30 minutes, and that I had to continue playing. We told me a few things and I told him a few things, along the lines of “fuck off” and “I’m keeping my winnings”.

So how will I throw this party? I want it to be totally unexpected and fun for everyone. One thing is for sure, there’s going to be plenty of booze. You can almost always expect a good time when there is booze around. As of this writing everything is set in place. There are going to be 10 people attending this party including the would-be-groom and nobody has a fucking idea what I have planned. There is no turning back now. Alas, I cannot speak of what will happen at the bachelors party. Bros before Hoes.