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Game concept rating: 4/10

Game stability: 1/10

Game customer service: 0/10

To get a 4 in my books, thats pretty damn good. All they need to do now is fix the fucking lag and login problems that everyone is facing. Unlike other online mmorpg (Mass multi player online role playing game), this game is totally free of charge. There are no hidden charges and shit like that. How do they survive then you say? Well you can buy Premium service and a whole lotta other shit which you don’t really need. You can play the game perfectly well with or without those extra shit that they sell for real money. KA (we will refer to the game as KA) is maintained by those dumb fucks at E-Games. They are dumb fucks because KA is such a great game over all but the customer service at E-Games suck fat nuts. Recently I took over my friends account and his name sucks. So I bought me 1000 E-Points (cash changed to points that are needed to purchase stuff) so I could get a Change Character Name Scroll. Guess what? Character Name Change isn’t implemented yet. Being the impatient asshole that I am, was fucking pissed. So I called them. The conversation was as follows:

noob: hello e-games my I help you

Fawked: yeh hi man, who am I speaking to?

noob: this is Eric speaking, what may be your problem?

Fawked: oh hey Eric this is Adrian speaking

noob: umm ok

Fawked: I just bought a hundred bucks so I can change my character name, but I cant

noob: what character name?

Fawked: f-a-w-k

noob: oh you’re the guy that’s always complaining in our forums and sending online case file to us over every little thing?

Fawked: yeh thats me man, I’m a paying customer you know.

noob: yes i am aware.. umm look I have to patch you over to my supervisor for this.

Fawked: why?

noob: I cant handle this. *some dumb music*

noob: hi, umm sorry he’s in a meeting, can he call you back on this number?

Fawked: no I’m working man

noob: or we thought you were some school kid

Fawked: no im not your average school kid.

noob: ok then can i have your mobile?

Fawked: sure my number is 017 878****

whats his number so I can call him if he doesn’t call me

noob: umm he will.

Fawked: you sure man?

noob: umm yes

Fawked: ok then, bye bye

noob: bye

*few minutes later*

*ring ring*

Fawked: hello

noob: hi, its Eric from e-games

Fawked: hey, wassup

noob: what was the error message

Fawked: there was none, it wont let me change my character name

noob: how did you know?

Fawked: umm cause my name wasn’t changed its still the same old shit

noob: ok, did anything else pop up?

Fawked: yea, name in use

noob: that’s the error message

Fawked: oh ok then

noob: one sec let me check

*stupid music again*

noob: sir that error message means your name is in use.

Fawked: that’s not possible man.

noob: but it is

Fawked: man i deleted a char with that name 2 days ago so I can change it to that

noob: oh I see… try another name

Fawked: I like that name and i want to change it now. is it because its offensive so its not allowed?

noob: maybe, I still suggest you use another cause its being used.

Fawked: have you seen the movie meet the fockers?

noob: umm yes

Fawked: that movie was not banned even in Malaysia how can it be offensive?

noob: since you pronounce it that way

Fawked: how did you think it was suppose to be pronounced? fuck??!

noob: umm no, i mean yes. Did you try another name?

Fawked: yes I did, I tried McShit and some others, it didn’t work.

noob: sir you cant use those type of names.

Fawked: why, customer is always right.

noob: I know sir but that’s offensive

Fawked: I’m a paying customer, I want my Fawked

noob: try another name please, maybe Fawked is too short, you need to make a longer name. its too simple i guess.

Fawked: you guess? man my name rocks, its not simple. its my family name man.

noob: you’re what??!

Fawked: family name, my name is Adrian Fawk. you never bothered asking my name did you.

noob: sorry

Fawked: again customers are always right, especially paying customers

noob: yes i am aware

Fawked: I never treat any of my customers with disrespect

noob: k.. let me check the database

Fawked: yes please

noob: we’ll call you asap

noob: ok bye.

*a few minutes later*

noob: hi umm Adrian

Fawked: speaking

noob: its not fixed yet

Fawked: what the fuck? when will it be fixed?

noob: next maintenance

Fawked: and when will that be?

noob: next week Fawked: you goddamn sure?

noob: yes

Fawked: ok

A few days later when I was playing all of a sudden the game disconnected me. Then when I tried logging in, the fucking game said “Character in Use”. Another way of explaining this is my character has been Portal Disconnected. Basically my character is stuck in the game and it wont fucking ping out. I get fucking pissed again because in an hour or so, there is going to be a War, between my Nation and the Enemy Nation (human vs orcs, I am human by the way). Guess what happens next, I call these homos again.

The conversation: Girl: hello e-games may I help you

Fawked: ok who am i speaking to

Girl: I’m Kathy

Fawked: hi Kathy

*long explanation of what happened*

Girl: hmm, it seems your character is stuck. Im going to refresh your character then in 15 minutes you can login

Fawked: great! thanks

*15 minutes later*

Fawked: goddamn fucking shit, I still can’t login!!

*calls E-games*

The conversation:

Girl: hello, e-games may I help you

Fawked: yeh hi, patch me through to a guy

Girl: ummm I can help you just fine *sexist bastard*

Fawked: no seriously, I would like to speak with a guy

Girl: sorry there are no guys working today, I am qualified to help you with your problems

Fawked: reallllllllly

Girl: yes reallllllly

Fawked: you’re Kathy right?

Girl: umm yes I am

Fawked: You tried helping me just now and it didn’t work

Girl: umm let me check again

Fawked: *waits patiently*

Girl: sorry sir, I can’t help you. Your character is stuck

Fawked: what the fuck? Are you aware that I am a paying customer? I have premium service and a Change Character Name scroll that I can’t use. I’m at the cyber cafe now SO I can go for WAR with my friends. INSTEAD IM SITTING HERE WATCHING RAPE PORNO!

Girl: whatt??

Fawked: GET MY SHIT FIXED NOW

Girl: but…

Fawked: BUT WHAT, I JUST WASTED 3 HOURS OF PREMIUM AND CYBER CAFE FEES, CAN YOU OR CAN YOU NOT GET IT FIXED

Girl: I, I, I can’t. But but, there is a way you can fix it, please delete your cookies and your temporary Internet files.

Fawked: what the fuck? I have no problems surfing porno of women getting raped. I don’t need to clean my cookies and shit

Girl: its because your hard disk is full, you need to clear some memory so you can login

Fawked: do you think I’m a fucking idiot

Girl: no… Fawked: cookies and history has nothing to do why your login server is shitty. Don’t fuck with me. For your information the hard disk has like 50 gigs of free memory left

Girl: … I’m sorry I just heard what the other game masters said…

Fawked: you’re goddamn hopeless, why do you even work as customer service

Girl: *choking* I’m sorry… I tried my best

Fawked: it’s not good enough Girl: wish I could help you more.. sorry sir

Fawked: yea whatever man

Girl: bye bye sir

Fawked: stupid bitch

Girl: wha..?

*slammed the phone*

Since then Kathy has been permanently fucked mentally by the one and only.

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