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Rating: 3/10 This movie sucks, period. Sometimes you would feel a movie by Steven Spielberg should have more intelligence in them. Why does the movie sucks? First of all there were no sexy women in the movie. The closest thing you would come to a female in the movie would be: 1. the aliens 2. Dakota Fanning (the little girl) 3. the pregnant lady (from lord of the rings as Eowen) Im beginning to think that Steven Spielberg is either gay, loves alien sex or kiddie porn. On with the movie, it sucks. I tend to use the word “it sucks” a lot. So anyway again back to the movie, it sucks. You would think that if the aliens were so smart as to bury their war machines beneath earth a few million years ago, then monitor the human race for a few million years they would be smart. Instead they are dumb shit sons of bitches. The only reason this movie was not given a zero was because of a few facts: 1. it was awesome how Steven portrayed fear and chaos in a situation such as this. Dakota Fanning used to be cute in the HBO Original: Taken.

But from this movie you can see she’s growing up and she looks like a zombie from Dawn of the Dead. She has eye bags under her eyes like she’s some crack whore. Anyway back to why the aliens were stupid. They have monitored and studied the human kind for millions of years. They even could build war machines with force shields and shit. But some how they forgot to check the air to see if it was compatible for them. It was pretty interesting in the beginning when the chaos started and shit. But the ending was crappy as shit. The aliens just got high and turned their force shields off after sniffing little germs in our air and they died. Died like a whore on overdose.

If I was Steven my movie would have gone like this: I would have killed Tom Cruise. He would have been stomped by the Tripods so he lost both his legs, and he would crawl for about 20 meters dripping blood as he crawled and the Tripods would laugh at him “haw haw haw” instead of making that stupid mooooing noise. Then the alien would jump out of their Tripod in spandex Superman outfit (cause they killed Superman when they blew up Krypton and stole his cloths) and rape Tom Cruise in his ass with their alien penis. After raping him, they would slice off his penis and testicles and wear it around their alien neck as a necklace and that would give them +2 to Penile Power skill. Then Tom Cruise would die from bleeding while clutching his cock-less crotch.

I would leave the middle un-touch. Just imagine everything that happened without Tom Cruise, just Dakota Fanning running around and crying like a bitch, all alone. She even killed that hippie with the shotgun that thought he would beat the aliens, yeah right hippie asshole. The ending would be when Dakota came across an old base used by the Transformers. She would push a button and walla, the base comes to life. Then the best goddamn robot in the WORLD would come to life and save the planet… Lo and behold… OMEGA SUPREME! Omega Supreme would kick the shit out of the alien pussy assess. Then Omega Supreme will change into the trailer and the humans under the new rule of President for Life Dakota Fanning would put the alien slaves into little boxes and ship them off to Iraq. Don’t ask me why, I just feel Iraq suits them, sand niggers and aliens just looks right. That would be the most fucking awesome movie in the world.

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