Fawked Network

It was a Saturday night, I’m bored as usual. My buddies Match, Bullet, Sammi and Luk Got were going to Genting Highlands to chill out and gamble at the Casino. Gambling really isn’t my thing, a couple of years back I had a very bad gambling habit and going down that road sucks. I rather smoke crystal meth and get high than gamble. Since nobody wanted to go out drinking with me, I decided to stay home and drink by myself while watching television. Drinking always sounded like a very good plan. My mom asked me to bring her for dinner so I did what an obedient son would. We talked quite a bit and the conversation went like this:

mom: you staying at home tonight?

Fawked: yea I think so

mom: where are you’re friends going tonight?

Fawked: the casino

mom: you could always go and walk around, see people gamble

Fawked: nah, the casino sucks

mom: you don’t have to gamble

Fawked: I hate the cold and I think I have a drinking habit

mom: you better stop that shit

Fawked: I need a drink

mom: at least you don’t womanize

Fawked: I’m not too sure about that

mom: I think we took the wrong baby home

Fawked: are you going to pay for my food?

mom: when you want to get settled down?

Fawked: in a couple of years, haven’t met anybody smart enough for you

mom: please get somebody that is able to maintain a conversation with your dad

Fawked: yea ok

mom: and make sure she goes to church, do you still go to church?

Fawked: yea, every Sunday without fail, church ermmm… rocks

mom: God loves you

Fawked: yea I love him too

**I get an sms:

Sammi: are you going to the Casino today?

Fawked: no, I hate losing my money

Sammi: It’ll be fun

Fawked: losing my hard earned money isn’t

Sammi: we’ll just hang out, disturb the babes a little

Fawked: sounds like a good plan. ok I’ll see you later

You don’t really need to persuade me much. If you tell me there’s food, girls and liquor, I’ll be there. I pick Sammi at about 9.30, have some drinks and we go on our destination. Something about myself: I hate being cold. I can’t even stand a little cold. So naturally I hate Genting Highlands. Its a mountain top resort that’s cold.

Once we reached Gentings we met up with Match, Bullet and Luk Got. They decide that they want spend the night there. Some Chinaman tried to blackmail us into renting his rooms that’s like 50% more expensive with the excuse that there are no more rooms available. So if we want to stay we have to rent his rooms. We entertain him for a bit then we told him a very polite “F**K OFF” and went our way. We checked with hotel reservation and there were still rooms available. We rented a room and headed to the Casino buffet. Food! Fawked is happy. The conversation:

Bullet: didn’t you take your mom out for dinner just now?

Fawked: yea and?

Luk Got: you eat like a champion

Best quote of the night from my buddies to me:

“We know you can drink and f**k like a rabbit, when did you learn to eat like one?”

After the buffet we headed over to the Casino, the land where you loose money. I prepared myself by only bringing RM200 to Gentings so I would only loose 200 if I went into a manic losing gambling streak. Sammi decided that we should each take out 100 bucks. I agree and gave him 100 bucks. We have 200 bucks to play now. In 5 minutes we lost the 200 at the ‘Banker Player’ table. Gambling sucks. We didn’t even win 1 game. Sammi suggest that we should find an ATM. I agree. I’m going to break Casino’s bank, it was a do or die situation. It’s past midnight and the ATM machines are turned off, Fawked is pissed. After giving RM50 to Match for the buffet and hotel reservations, I’m left with RM50.

Sammi takes RM200 from Luk Got and I take RM50 from Sammi. In hand now I have RM100. I decided that I wanted to play at the ‘War Games’ table. I bet in 50′s. I win 3 hands in a row and I’m beginning to think I am on a winning streak. In the next 10 minutes I lost all my money. Great. Now I’m broke and I’m bored.

Then I saw a dealer with the name ‘Geeseben’ at the Pontoon table. I make my way to his table to talk to him:

Fawked: hey Geese lets play some poontang

Geeseben: place your bet

Fawked: hey man how do you pronounce your name?

Geeseben: its G – say – ben

Fawked: anybodies name here is G? Please say Ben

**table doesn’t get the joke

Geeseben: place your bets please

Fawked: hey man, can I call your Goose? Like in Top Gun. Also because there’s only one of you, the singular for Geese is Goose.

The next thing I know I’m being escorted out of the Casino. But I find my way back in. Then I see a friend of mine with a woman:

Admirer: its late, time to go back to the hotel

Bullet: yea, good night

Admirer: you want to go back with me?

Bullet: I still want to gamble

Admirer: its late, I’m tired

Bullet: you go right ahead, my friends are still here and I want to gamble

Fawked: Room 12134

** Bullet pulls me away

Bullet: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM DUDE?

Fawked: just helping you out man, she wants you

Bullet: she is like 75 years old!

Fawked: she needs love and you need to stop being choosy

The old lady proceeds to where my buddy Luk Got is at. We don’t want to disturb them so we look from far. Luk Got’s face looks like he’s getting a constipation. That’s most likely because he’s loosing and OldLady is trying to pick him up. OldLady gets bored and leaves the Casino. We take the cue and go over to Luk Got. On our arrival, Luk Got goes on a winning streak. I eye a hot HongKee lady. She can’t speak English. She is losing money and she’s still happy. I flash my room key and say 12134. My buddies start laughing. Now she’s not a very happy loser. Bullet tries hitting on the damn dealer that looks like a sold out Bette Midler. When Luk Got is done gambling, we go back to our room. The weather is hot in Gentings today. When I start complaining that it’s hot, then it’s really hot.

There were 2 twin beds in our room. 5 of us are going to sleep on it. We push both the beds together so it becames a giant twin twin bed. We put Sammi in the middle for balancing purposes. We sleep in this order:

Luk Got – Match – Sammi – Fawked – Bullet

I always sleep naked. Because staying over at Gentings was a last minute decision we didn’t bring any comfortable cloths, tooth brush or any clean cloths in fact. I won’t sleep well. I announce that I am going to sleep only in my under wear. I take my cloths off, I didn’t have any boxers on, only my cheap underwear with cheap elastic. My left butt cheek kept getting exposed cause the damn elastic was worn out on the left side. I tuck my package nicely in the underwear, because the damn underwear is so cheap my nut sack kept getting exposed. I proceed to sleep in between a half naked Bullet and Sammi. Luk Got got all exited and took off all his cloths except for his underwear. The conversation:

Match: OH HELL NO, YOU’RE NOT GETTING IN BED WITH ME LIKE THAT

Luk Got: why not? Fawked is sleeping in his underwear

Match: well he’s not sleeping beside me and he doesn’t have crabs or herpes

Luk Got: that’s not fair

Match: sleep on the floor if you want to sleep naked

Luk Got puts his cloths back on. We go to sleep. Sammi snores like a Twin Turbo Skyline. I kick him in the ass to shut him up. Bullet starts grinding his teeth like a broken record player. I didn’t get any sleep that night. And HongKee lady didn’t show up. Gentings sucks.