Fawked Network

A couple of months ago I found this movie called Twilight. I heard it was a Vampire versus Werewolf movie. At that time I was bored as hell so I thought how bad could it be right. I thought it was Vampires killing Werewolves and shit. How wrong was I. If you continue reading beware that there might be spoilers.

It’s not bad but it wasn’t that great either. Unlike most movies where the first movie is always the best, Twilight Saga: New Moon was slightly much better than Twilight. In New Moon there were slightly more action than the first part but with a little extra.

I can’t really say much about New Moon except that its a stupid love story. That’s it. It’s all the same with love stories. Two guys want a girl. One is a vampire and the other is a werewolf. History goes, vampires and werewolves are sworn enemies.

What I couldn’t stand in the movie was Taylor Lautner. He obviously spends like 20 hours a day in the gym buffing his shit up. But I didn’t think he needed to do every scene shirtless. Every time he came out shirtless the girls in the cinema would cheer like crazy.

For a Werewolf, he is pretty clean shaven. Of course in the movie Kristen Stewart goes for the Vampire Robert Pattinson. For a Vampire he’s pretty damn hairy. He’s not very masculine either, maybe its because they only suck animal blood and not human blood. So I guess he’s suffering from some form of malnourishment.

I wasn’t too happy with Twilight Saga: New Moon because they didn’t show much of Alice (Ashley Greene). Just to set the record straight I think Ashley Greene is much hotter than Kristen Stewart. I included a picture for your comparison.

In the movie Kristen Stewart keeps asking to be changed into a Vampire but Robert gives all sorts of fucking excuses like he doesn’t want her to be cursed and shit. I really think that he simply doesn’t want to have the same girl for the next thousand years. Who does right?

The first thing I do when I wake up is get on my computer, even before my eyes can fully open, even before I take my morning piss, even before I brush my teeth. It’s been a habit for the past 15 years I think. I was checking my blog and this advertisement caught my eye:

I’m always interested in Streamyx promotions and upgrades. So I clicked my own ad. Yea so sue me, take that 0.000001 cent back! You can view their promotion page here. There are upgrade deals for Streamyx Combo packages and Streamyx Standard packages. Now why would I want to blog about the Internet Service Provider that I hate so much? Below is one of the few upgrade deals they are giving. There are many more upgrade deals here, but I’m only talking about the one I’m interested in.

What got me really interested was the price slash. The 4Mb package used to be RM250 or something like that I think. Now I can get it for RM130. Pretty sweet fucking deal if you ask me. The war is on between Streamyx and P1 Wimax. This is the shit I have been talking about for the past 10 years. We needed a fucking competitor in this ISP business and finally we do. All we need is a few more.

I was interested to know more so I called Streamyx up, twice. I always have to call them up twice and I can guaranty you, both times you will hear different things. The first time I called I chose to speak in English. The second time I called, I chose to speak in English again but some how they mixed my shit up and sent me to the Bahasa Malaysia speaking customer service people. No big deal, I’m a patriotic person. I can speak Bahasa Malaysia. But I felt I was speaking to the same person but with a different name. Today is a public holiday. It’s Hari Raya Haji. So I doubt they have more than 2 people working.

Basically if you want to upgrade your line, you have to go to the TM Point yourself and upgrade it. Don’t they know that people with Internet are lazy? Most don’t even go out and look for chicks to get laid, they just sit at home and watch porn. Girls do their shopping online; then find that they bought their clothes 2 sizes too small later.

I fucking hate going to TM Point, there is no TM Point near my fucking house. The nearest TM Point area is always jammed packed with cars and there’s no place to park. You can have speeds up to 4Mb but you can’t get a fucking decent IT fella to create you an automated system?

Then I saw the “REGISTER ONLINE NOW!” button. Could it be? Could I do it from the safety and comfort of my own home? This would be like a dream come true. I clicked it.

If I read correctly it says login to proceed with upgrade. So I happily do. What awaited me was shocking. I couldn’t believe my fucking eyes.

It stated that my current package is the Streamyx Basic 512k RM88 and I could only upgrade to a maximum of 1Mb. Their shit is broken; as usual. Nothing surprised me here. Their shit is always broken. So it looks like on Monday I would still have to go to a TM Point. The second lady I spoke to told me to bring only my IC and myself (the lady actually told me to bring myself, I think she was trying to make a joke). The first lady told me to bring only my first months bill. So I know for sure I have to bring myself, my IC and my bills cause their system is fucked. They would have to see my bill to know the real package I have.

I suspect the war between Streamyx and I will be reignited. They have the tendency to tell you they have upgraded your shit only for you to find that you get half or no upgrade at all. Currently I’m using a 1Mb plan but they upgraded my speed to 2Mb for 4 months free.

If you see the picture above, my 3com router detects that my line is a 2Mb. For those of you that don’t know 3com, its a very good brand. The price is a little bit on the high side but the router can go on for over a week of endless downloading without rebooting. You can’t say the same about other brands, after about 2 or 3 days of maximum downloading your shit hangs and you have to reboot the router. Another good brand would be Cisco’s Linksys. Below is my latest speed test:

I’m still 0.3Mb short of 2Mb but it’s alright. I average out at 1.75Mb which translates out to about 212.5Kbps download speed. To calculate your download speed just take your speed and divide it by 8. for a 2045Kbps line max download speed should be 2045/8 = 255Kbps. Or if you average about 50Kbps download speed then your line is 50*8 = 0.4Mb. If I upgrade my line to a 4Mb I will not settle for speeds less than 3.6Mb which should download my shit at 450Kbps. This is very important, Streamyx will tell you this crap they call time sharing or speed sharing or whatever. During peak hours you will get shitty speeds.

As a conclusion this is a pretty sweet deal in my opinion. But check your speed regularly and make sure you get what you pay for.

Yesterday the newest member of the Perodua family, Perodua Alza was launched. It’s suppose to be an MPV that drives like a car. It’s also the “most Malaysian” car to date but has a Spanish name.

Some guy was saying the other day that we should use our National Language in private sectors and shit. So why is the “most Malaysian” car named in Spanish? We don’t even have any Spanish people here and nobody speaks Spanish. Apparently Alza means “to rise” in Spanish. In the Malaysian spirit I feel strongly that the MPV should have been called Perodua Bangkit.

The name aside, the MPV looks fucking hot. I bet it drives great with its 1.5-litre engine too. But any car is better than fuck ass Proton. I have the right to say Proton is shit cause I got fucked 3 times when I bought their cars. I will never buy another Proton car again as long as I live… but I’m still driving a Proton cause I’m a poor fuck.

Today while I was reading the Star I came across an article. You can read the online article here http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2009/11/22/lifefocus/5133709&sec=lifefocus. Long story short the writer hopes that we put ourselves in the thief’s shoes.

I can tell you I don’t have to put myself in his shoes because I am in his shoes right now. And I know this guy, lets call him AkuPening, who is in BOTH his mother fucking shoes. We’re out of a job right now and like everybody else we have bills to pay. I’m not married and I don’t have kids. AkuPening has 2 kids and an entire family to feed. On top of that we’re getting fucked by the system. How we’re getting fucked by the system, well that’s another story for another day. That story would be appropriate if AkuPening told it.

Even though we’re using his fucking shoes right now, it doesn’t mean we will walk his walk, again. The key word here is AGAIN. Oh yes, we are a fucked up bunch. If we’re up to no good, we will fuck you up. How fucked up are we? That is a story that we will probably never tell.

So I say this, no matter how fucked up a person is or how desperate a person is crime is not the answer. Minor or not, crime is crime. Two rights out of three does not make a criminal innocent. Everybody has problems, what makes a persons problem bigger than the other persons? I don’t have a high salary job because I didn’t study hard enough in school. I don’t have a job right now cause I’m a lazy fuck. Who can I blame if not myself? Sure I could go out on a reign of terror. In a day we can a thousand or even two thousand preying on women and old people. Work only three days a month and it pays better than a real job.

We don’t give a fuck, we’re ruthless. We’ll even fuck kids up. Check out this conversation I had with Clitoris Clinton, he was 15 when he got mugged. I’m a firm believer that if I’m to be bad, I will be bad to the bone. No point being half bad. Have you ever met a robber that will only take 100 bucks from you and return you the balance? And maybe say something like “I just need 100 bucks so my kid can see the doctor cause he’s sick. I’m really sorry ok, here is your watch, hand phone and balance of the money”. You won’t see a thief robbing the drugs from a drug bust from the evidence room with guns a blazing. He know he gonna get fucked.

I’m just saying this from my stand point of view. If I were bad, I would be really bad. You can almost expect the same from almost every robber or snatch theif. There various organizations and bodies and shit to help people in need of help. Criminal activities is not one of them. In times of trouble maybe that snatch theft should have turned to religion instead. I’m sure if he was part of a religious group there will be people willing to help him. Whether he is a Muslim, Christian or Buddhist or whatever.

An interesting question would be, what would happen if the lady (that killed the snatch theft) lost control of her car, crashed into a wall and killed herself instead? I’m willing to bet the RM2.50 I have right now that he would escape scot free. Snatch theft is the ideal occupation for “I need money to feed my family cause I lost my job” because its easy money and its easy to escape. How many cases were reported and how many were solved? How do you catch a guy that’s wearing a full face helmet with fake license plates? We don’t live in Gotham City, Batman is not on the building above us ready to swoop down and kick his ass.

It was unfortunate that he was killed. It will be even more unfortunate if she is charged with homicide. You read a lot of news nowadays about the police shooting robbers dead and shit. People say our cops are trigger happy. But ask any criminal, once they go down that path they are ready to get fucked one way or another. If they wanted a safe job, they would have got themselves a desk job.

If I get fucked doing something bad, serves me right. Whoever that gets fucked doing something bad, serves them right. Criminals just have to suck it up and take it like a man, just like all the silent victims out there. Too bad if the people feel that the death of the snatch theft was but a small victory in the game of Snatch Theft versus Defenceless Citizens. Snatch Theft is an act of cowardice, a scourge that plagues our streets.

If you are a really fucked up person and you want to play a fucked up video game, Manhunt would be it. Manhunt is the most violent and fucked up game I’ve ever played. Manhunt is created by Rockstar, same guys that gave us the Max Payne series and the Grand Theft Auto series. GTA is another controversial game by the way, and I love it.

Manhunt is banned in a lot of countries. Below is a video of the game play. Watch it and you will understand why. It is a pretty old but I just started playing it. Manhunt 2 is also out, I should be posting something about that in the next couple of days after I finish Manhunt 1.

In Manhunt you assume the role of Cash, a death row in mate that supposed to be already dead by lethal injection. Some psycho doctor faked your death so he could video you walking around trying to find your way out while being hunted by jerk offs. The psycho doctor is probably jerking off while watching you snuff the life out of morons in the most horrendous  ways.

So far I’m only half way through. There’s not much of a story line. Basically you hide in the shadows and the baddies cant find you. When they have your backs against you, you come out of the shadows and stick your knife in their eye. After playing a while you feel like you’re repeating yourself. Hide in shadow, come out of shadow, kill dumb ass.

Below is a video I made. I have to warn you. It’s like watching Friday the 13th, SAW and Nightmare on Elm Street all crammed into one video.

But one thing is for sure, if you want something to scare the fuck out of you, Manhunt is the game. I caught my hair standing up many times. Especially if the baddies found you and chased you around. This is not a game where you can tank and fight more than 1 bad guy at a time. They will pwn your ass.