Fawked Perception

The Book of Eli is the shittiest movie Denzel Washington has ever starred in. The story line is so fucking bad that I think it was written by a 9 year old kid.

Seriously, the movie was so bad, I think the only movie worst than this was Bangkok Dangerous.

The movie is set in the future. A world war destroyed the ozone and the earth or some shit. Now USA is barren and water is scarce. I don’t know why but during the war, they destroyed all the Bibles.

Then some how, Mr. Denzel here has a copy of the King James Bible and he needs to head West. He doesn’t even know why he’s heading west, some little voice in his head told him to so he’s doing it.

The Book of Eli also stars Mila Kunis. Who is Mila Kunis you say? She’s that chick from That 70’s Show. For most of the movie she wears that shit.

Nothing much to look at. If you wanted to dress a hot chick like that in a movie you might as well use somebody that nobody cares about like Cher. I mean come on, the movie was shit and people paid money to watch the show. At least use give the people their money’s worth and make Mila Kunis wear something sexy at least. Something like this…

Instead what the fuck we get? We get 10 minutes of Denzel Washington wiping himself. If that’s not enough we get to see his man tits. Great.

Denzel is a black guy and they shot that scene in the dark and he’s naked. So naturally you can’t see shit.

While Denzel is heading West, baddies are chasing after him cause they want the Bible. According to the baddies the Bible can be used to make people listen to him because they want to believe in God or something like that. The movie makes no fucking sense.

As they were heading west they reached a house owned by a hill billy and his wife. Soon after a gun fight breaks out and everybody dies. Denzel gets his ass shot but he doesn’t die cause God won’t have any of that shit. The baddies steal his Bible and his woman (Mila Kunis) that he wouldn’t have sex with even though she offered him cause after the apocalypse all the Viagra in the world were destroyed so he couldn’t get it up.

Denzel has been walking West for 30 fucking years. And when he just gets his ass shot, he walks another 15 minutes and he reaches his destination. He finds some guys that’s into the printing business. Because the baddies stole his Bible, he had to repeat every word of the Bible so they could re-print it. Then Denzel dies. The End.

The story line was so bad that some fat guy in front of me with a few packs of junk food couldn’t even keep himself awake. He was snoring all the way. You know it’s really bad when a fat dude rather sleep than eat his Cheesels.

Spammers are really getting good at their job. I got no fucking idea how they got my MSN address but I thought I would have some fun.

Last week the world was shocked (again), after Tilly the killer whale killed its trainer. I wasn’t shocked when I read the news because 1st of all, it was not the first time Tilly has killed, it was its 3rd time. 2nd of all, Tilly is a killer whale. Tilly is not a dog or a cat or even a turtle, Tilly is a killer whale. Now why the fuck would anybody call a whale a killer whale? If the whale always smiled then they would’ve called them smiling whale. I suppose they are called killer whales because they kill?

Anyway some people are bitching that Tilly the killer whale should be set free or put down. After being in captivity for so long Tilly wouldn’t last in the wild so its the same as putting her down except nobody has to do the dirty job of actually putting it down. What good would setting the killer whale or putting it down? It does no damn good.

I propose this is what we do:

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You know you’ve been parking for too long when birds start making nests on your car. The bird was nice enough to let me finish taking the picture before flying off for more nest building materials.

Earlier today I was rushing to the petrol station to put petrol then I saw an accident. As illustrated in the picture below, the arrow shows I was coming from which direction and I had to make a right turn into the petrol station. When I reached there the cops weren’t there yet.

I assumed the accident happened a couple of minutes before I arrived, then add as many minutes as it takes for me to re-park my car into another petrol pump because my initial choice didn’t accept my credit card. Then add the time it takes for the pump to approve my credit and pump RM76 worth of petrol into my car. Just as I was about to leave the cops came.

Now get this, the cop comes out of the car knowing its a pretty bad ass accident, he walks with a fucking sway like he’s some sort of super model or gangster wannabe to the victim. What the fuck? Where is the sense of urgency? Where’s the fucking ambulance? But I guess, everybody is just like me, we just don’t give 2 fucks. The difference is, I admit I don’t give a fuck.