A conversation I had a few days ago…

First of all congratulations to Datuk Lee Chong Wei for winning his 1st All England, even though he won after the dumb shit umpire over turned an out shot. But winning is winning! Also, congratulations to his Japanese opponent, Kenichi Tago, for putting up a brave fight. Only 20 years of age and I can see this one go far in the game.

Even though he may be the world’s number 1 badminton player, he definitely needs to learn how to smile for the camera. I’ve even heard comments that he looks like one of the zombies in the Left 4 Dead video game. But hey! Show some fucking respect ok, Datuk is our national hero! I hope they make him Tan Sri Lee Chong Wei.

That could explain why Tago lost to Datuk Lee, I think it’s because of his crazy eye. His right eye seems to be looking at the shuttle cock but his left eye is looking else where… maybe at Lee’s cock.

Anyway, I had badminton today (a day after Datuk Lee won the All England). As I anticipated, there were ALOT of people at the badminton complex. Moms bringing their kids and maids to play badminton in the hopes that one of them would turn out to be a pro one day. When I say a lot of moms and kids, I mean ALOT OF MOMS AND KIDS. Moms shouting instructions from the benches while their kids duke it out with their maids.

For those of you that don’t know, Indonesia is one of the badminton power house. Also, Indonesian maids are a favourite among Malaysians. But please people, everybody wants to be like Datuk Lee Chong Wei. But it doesn’t mean if your maid is an Indonesian she’s a pro badminton player.

A little while ago I was watching the All England badminton and the game was between…

VS

Then my mom comes along and we had this conversation:

Mom: Who against who?

Fawked: Denmark versus India

Mom: Oh really? Who’s the Indian?

Fawked: What the fuck… the one that looks like an Indian?

The Book of Eli is the shittiest movie Denzel Washington has ever starred in. The story line is so fucking bad that I think it was written by a 9 year old kid.

Seriously, the movie was so bad, I think the only movie worst than this was Bangkok Dangerous.

The movie is set in the future. A world war destroyed the ozone and the earth or some shit. Now USA is barren and water is scarce. I don’t know why but during the war, they destroyed all the Bibles.

Then some how, Mr. Denzel here has a copy of the King James Bible and he needs to head West. He doesn’t even know why he’s heading west, some little voice in his head told him to so he’s doing it.

The Book of Eli also stars Mila Kunis. Who is Mila Kunis you say? She’s that chick from That 70’s Show. For most of the movie she wears that shit.

Nothing much to look at. If you wanted to dress a hot chick like that in a movie you might as well use somebody that nobody cares about like Cher. I mean come on, the movie was shit and people paid money to watch the show. At least give the people their money’s worth and make Mila Kunis wear something sexy at least. Something like this…

Instead what the fuck we get? We get 10 minutes of Denzel Washington wiping himself. If that’s not enough we get to see his man tits. Great.

Denzel is a black guy and they shot that scene in the dark and he’s naked. So naturally you can’t see shit.

While Denzel was heading West, baddies were chasing after him cause they want the Bible. According to the baddies the Bible can be used to make people listen to him because they want to believe in God or something like that. The movie makes no fucking sense.

As they were heading west they reached a house owned by a hill billy and his wife. Soon after a gun fight breaks out and everybody dies. Denzel gets his ass shot but he doesn’t die cause God won’t have any of that shit. The baddies steal his Bible and his woman (Mila Kunis) that he wouldn’t have sex with even though she offered him cause after the apocalypse all the Viagra in the world were destroyed so he couldn’t get it up.

Denzel has been walking West for 30 fucking years. And when he just gets his ass shot, he walks another 15 minutes and he reaches his destination. He finds some guys that’s into the printing business. Because the baddies stole his Bible, he had to repeat every word of the Bible so they could re-print it. Then Denzel dies. The End.

The story line was so bad that some fat guy in front of me with a few packs of junk food couldn’t even keep himself awake. He was snoring all the way. You know it’s really bad when a fat dude rather sleep than eat his Cheesels.

Spammers are really getting good at their job. I got no fucking idea how they got my MSN address but I thought I would have some fun.