Everything that I read concerning football are on Rooney and his sudden change of heart and signing a five year contract with Manchester United. Not only did a few people sigh a sigh of relieve at his commitment to the club, there were also a few disappointed people especially those that wanted me to eat half the Australian populations underwear. That was when Robbie Fowler, a former Liverpool player, said he gave Rooney a call and Rooney was interested in joining him at Perth Glory. Yes, this is the same Fowler that scored a goal once and went to the side lines and pretended to snort the white line as if it was cocaine.

Only until a little while ago did I notice how much of a genius SAF is. What’s bigger news than Rooney fucking a prostitute? The answer would be Rooney leaving Manchester United. What could be bigger news than that? Rooney going to Manchester City of course, but then Manchester United would look like a dumb fuck and not benefit from that. Instead I believe his incredible “turn around” and signing a five year contract with Manchester United is all part of a very clever ploy to divert attention from Rooney the Hooker Fucker to Rooney Leaving Manchester United to Rooney Signs 5 Year Contract. Perfectly executed.

Personally I don’t trust that cunt anymore, but apart of me also feels glad he signed a contract. I’m glad because if we wanted to sell him now, we could for a higher price. I’m also a little glad considering next month Football Manager 2011 is coming out and it would suck to play as Manchester United without at least a master class footballer considering we don’t have Ronaldo anymore.

In difficult times, desperate measures are needed and this is a fantastic move. I cannot stop praising SAF enough. I could be wrong but you definitely cannot deny that this conspiracy could be a possibility. Rooney may look tough but I personally think he’s a dumb cunt and a pussy. A master class footballer no doubt but not a very smart person. Who the fuck would marry their high school sweetheart, have a kid and go fuck prostitutes? Ok, maybe the prostitute was hot, but a granny prostitute? I believe Rooney is a puppet in this whole “want to sign for Manchester City” story.

It all seems a little bit too coincidental that the Glazers assured Rooney that SAF would have a hundred million to spend on transfers. It is no secret that Manchester United is in a whole world of shit right now with debts amounting to 750 million pounds. Us fans are pissed we are spending money on unknown players and not buying class players. Of course those youngsters may turn out to be 80 million pound assets in the future but we cannot deny the fact that we suck at the moment. Many will think if the Glazer’s “assurance” of a 100 million transfer kitty is good enough for Rooney to sign a 5 year contract, it should be good enough for them as well. I’m telling you right now, don’t get cheated by the Glazers. Where the fuck are they going to get that 100 million from? They could try pulling it out of their ass, but the shit will only add to the more shit we have right now.

Again, great move SAF. If only you conjure a spell to make those fucking Glazers disappear and replace them with a billionaire.

We have been hearing a lot of news recently about Rooney and Sir Alex Ferguson’s (SAF) rift, but never did I think for a second that Rooney would leave the great Manchester United. Last night SAF confirmed that Rooney is “adamant” on leaving. I was shocked. So shocked I found it hard to sleep. So shocked I had dreams of punching Rooney in the fucking face.

Rumor has it that Rooney is leaving because of the money. And the most likely destination is Manchester City. For some, especially me, I hate Manchester City more than I hate Liverpool, for now anyway. Liverpool is so far below in the league, they can almost taste the bird shit.

Personally I hate unloyal people. Rooney leaving Manchester United is shocking. But we will get over it. I have. If a player wants to leave for more money, let him leave. Rooney probably wants more money to fund his granny whore fucking lifestyle.

So many things I want to say to vent out this anger but I am lost for words. Words cannot really describe my feelings. But if I was in England, I would hunt him down and fuck him up. Not for leaving the great Manchester United, but for being a fucking cunt.

The boy has serious loyalty issues. He cheated on his wife with hookers and he’s cheated the club that made him who he was. He was great at Man Utd because we made him good. Without the club, he is nothing.

Another day and it would be exactly 2 months since my last blog post. I’ve started working at a new company and I just haven’t got the time to blog. So what brings me out of this “blogging comatose”? First, a little about my new office. It is roughly about 15 kilometers from my house. Abnormally it would take me 15 minutes to get there, but normally in the fucking jam it takes me around an hour. So everyday, I need fresh music to keep me company in the jam.

So far my favorite has been Ozzy Osbourne. Listened David Guetta’s One Love yesterday and it was alright. However today, it was Linkin Park’s A Thousand Suns that was supposed to keep me calm and focused on the road. Instead, I almost ripped out my CD player and threw it at the Bangla that was sweeping the road.

What the fuck happened to Linkin Park? A Thousand Suns sucked so bad. Seriously they have been making pretty bad music recently. My all time favorite Linkin Park album would have to be Hybrid Theory. And my all time Linkin Park favorite song would have to be One Step Closer. Meteora (2nd album) was pretty good too with tracks like Faint and Numb. Then one day Linkin Park woke up and decided, “Hey lets be Linkin Suck for a change eh?” and made Minutes to Midnight.

When I listen to Linkin Park I expect an adrenaline rush, it is like almost making you angry, but in a nice way. But when I listened to A Thousand Suns this morning, it made me angry alright. It fucking pissed me off and I wanted to punch somebody in the fucking face. Its like you get into a Lamborghini, it makes you want to drive fast, because you know it can. When I put in the Linkin Park cd this morning, I expected to get rocked out. Instead, some bastard took the fucking engine out of the Lamborghini!

There is only 1 good track in A Thousand Suns called Waiting For The End. By good I mean you could listen to it but if nobody told you it was a Linkin Park song you would have thought it was by 311. Excessive use of electronic drums in A Thousand Suns totally fucked the album up.

I’m starting to believe that Hybrid Theory and Meteora was a fluke. Maybe their true style is electronic music with shitty rap and senseless shouting. If Mike Shinoda wants to rap, he should start his own fucking rap band or something. I’m sorry but I’m not much of a rap fan. Yo yo, wassup my shizzle fosizzle. That just doesn’t work for me.

I am totally fucking disappointed with their latest album. If you thought Minutes to Midnight was bad, this is even worse. I would liken this album to watching Gossip Girls without the girls.

Some say Linkin Park wanted to try something new. But I believe if its not broken, dont fucking fix it. Not everyone is as good as Greenday. We all remember the good old Basket Case and When I Come Around days. Greenday’s transformation from that to Boulevard of Broken Dreams and 21 Guns was simply amazing.

Linkin Park, start listening to your first 2 albums, this new shit you guys are doing, its pure garbage. It’s no wonder why I find myself listening to Katy Perry and Kelly Clarkson so much nowadays.

The other day we were having a drink and the “needs and wants” topic came out. What are a persons needs and wants? One of the girls said…

“We want a bad boy but we need a good guy”

So what are a guys needs and wants? For guys it’s pretty simple… we want a cheeseburger and a hot chick. We want a chick that can make a good cheeseburger when we’re hungry and we want a hot chick to fuck. Normally only the fat and ugly chicks make a good cheeseburger!

Paul the fucking octopus has spoken. He has chosen Spain to win the World Cup Finals against the Netherlands. I tell you that fucking octopus doesn’t predict winners, instead it curses the other team and causes them to lose. Paul is SATAN! Paul is the DEVIL!

The facts are obvious. Everybody knows Satan is the Beast, octopus = a BEAST! A normal octopus has 8 tentacles, but Paul is a retarded octopus with only 6 tentacles. On each tentacle, Paul has 66 suckers. If you add those 2 sets of numbers together you will get 666, the number of the Devil!

Paul is known as the World Cup Octopus because it makes its appearance during World Cups but little did you know Paul has been making ‘predictions’ since the beginning of time. The world as we know it has been shaped by the Satanic predictions of a 6 tentacle’d octopus named Paul.

After doing intense research for the past 20 years I have managed to come out with solid proof and unseen pictures of Paul making predictions that shaped the world to what it is today.

← SHOW SPOILER →

When the world begun, Paul decided that it would be us humans that would rule the earth and not the Predators. However in another prediction, Paul granted that Predators would be better actors in movies instead of Jack Black.

← SHOW SPOILER →

Vuvuzelas were going to be an addition to the 2010 World Cup whether we like it or not because Paul already predicted normal cheering fans would be replaced by the vuvuzeling Africans.

← SHOW SPOILER →

This is a pretty obvious one. Did you think Obama would have won if Paul didn’t have anything to do with it? McCain for president!

← SHOW SPOILER →

Maybe next year Liverpool will win it… or maybe next next year… perhaps next next next year…

← SHOW SPOILER →

← SHOW SPOILER →

The hottest topic of the week would have to be Lindsay Lohan heading to jail for 90 days. The Mean Girls star didn’t even stand a fucking chance when Paul chose her to serve jail time…

← SHOW SPOILER →

Sauron never had a chance. The battle of Middle Earth was won when Paul decided the hobbits would prevail.

← SHOW SPOILER →

Star Trek is pure shit. Enough said.

← SHOW SPOILER →

Paul rather watch Harry Potter his entire octopus life than watch that piece of crap Twilight.

← SHOW SPOILER →

Since Megan Fox is married and booted out of Transformers 3, she is no longer the hottest chick in the world. Eva Mendes resumes the role as the hottest chick in the world.

← SHOW SPOILER →

All of you that made fun of Michael Jackson should be ashamed of yourselves. Michael didn’t want to be white, he didn’t have a choice, Paul was the one that made that decision!