A few years back when Ronaldinho was at his peak he wowed fans with his amazing ball control and pin point accurate free kicks. When Nike presented him with his one of a kind golden thread football boots, he demonstrated why he was the worlds number one.

Currently, Lee Chong Wei is ranked as the world’s number one badminton player. But a couple of days ago Chong Wei just got totally creamed by Lin Dan of China. I am sick and tired of watching our number one player play like an amateur against China’s number one. If something is worse than losing to the same player all the time, it would have to be losing it at home with all your home fans cheering for you.

People are complaining that the video is fake and all that shit. Even if it was fake, thought I believe that it is real, he is one hell of a player. He has demonstrated time and time again why he is the best, because he beats the best and he makes it look so easy.

I don’t blame Lee Chong Wei for losing, even though it looked like he went down without a fight. I blame the coaches, BAM and all those pencil pushing cock suckers. We had years to prepare for the Thomas Cup and we only rely on one singles player and a doubles when it is a best of five competition. Maybe those idiots don’t know how to count.

When a player has been independent for two years, aged 33 and is still our number two best singles player, you know we are fucked one way or another.

I just wasted 4 hours of my life watching Malaysia get thrashed by Japan in the Thomas Cup. The first singles was a breeze when Lee Chong Wei beat Kenichi Tago in straight sets. The first doubles was also a breeze when Koo and Tan beat the Japanese first doubles pair in straight sets. After that, shit went bad… real bad.

Second singles, old warhorse Wong Choong Han lost in straight sets. Wong used to be a really good player and he would perhaps do great job as a third singles. But what the fuck is a 33 year old doing playing second singles? For a country that loves and can only do well in badminton, can we fucking groom our kids to be world class players instead of relying on semi retired players?

Don’t even get me started on the second doubles. That Fakry and his partner (I don’t know his name) were playing like a bunch of cock suckers. I’ve never seen people play so badly in my life, ever.

Hafiz, our third singles… was playing against an obviously very stoned Jap named Shoji Sato. I think I saw Sato clubbing last night. In the game he looked like he was going to pass out after the first game. Hafiz managed to get a 3rd set but Sato totally out classed him. Surprising? Not really.

What I don’t fucking understand is, we had years to prepare for this Thomas Cup. And this is the best we got? A 33 year old, 2 idiots and a washed up former All England champion? I really feel sorry for Lee Chong Wei and Koo and Tan. If this wasn’t a team event, we could very well see Lee Chong Wei winning it and quite possibly see Koo and Tan be serious contenders. But sadly this is a team event and the other players, well, they just suck.

Anyway screw the Thomas Cup. If you guys didn’t notice, Yonex is losing out on a lot of sponsorship deals. Since I like Yonex so much, I have come up with a brand new product Yonex can create so more players will want them as their sponsors. Check it out…

← SHOW SPOILER →

First of all congratulations to Datuk Lee Chong Wei for winning his 1st All England, even though he won after the dumb shit umpire over turned an out shot. But winning is winning! Also, congratulations to his Japanese opponent, Kenichi Tago, for putting up a brave fight. Only 20 years of age and I can see this one go far in the game.

Even though he may be the world’s number 1 badminton player, he definitely needs to learn how to smile for the camera. I’ve even heard comments that he looks like one of the zombies in the Left 4 Dead video game. But hey! Show some fucking respect ok, Datuk is our national hero! I hope they make him Tan Sri Lee Chong Wei.

That could explain why Tago lost to Datuk Lee, I think it’s because of his crazy eye. His right eye seems to be looking at the shuttle cock but his left eye is looking else where… maybe at Lee’s cock.

Anyway, I had badminton today (a day after Datuk Lee won the All England). As I anticipated, there were ALOT of people at the badminton complex. Moms bringing their kids and maids to play badminton in the hopes that one of them would turn out to be a pro one day. When I say a lot of moms and kids, I mean ALOT OF MOMS AND KIDS. Moms shouting instructions from the benches while their kids duke it out with their maids.

For those of you that don’t know, Indonesia is one of the badminton power house. Also, Indonesian maids are a favourite among Malaysians. But please people, everybody wants to be like Datuk Lee Chong Wei. But it doesn’t mean if your maid is an Indonesian she’s a pro badminton player.

A little while ago I was watching the All England badminton and the game was between…

VS

Then my mom comes along and we had this conversation:

Mom: Who against who?

Fawked: Denmark versus India

Mom: Oh really? Who’s the Indian?

Fawked: What the fuck… the one that looks like an Indian?