Canoeing with Sammi sucks. We went to Langkawi back in 1999. We were going to stay and celebrate Y2K there. There were rumors going around that computers were going to go nuts and planes going to crash, zombies roaming free, nuclear warheads flying around so we decided that being on an island would be the safest.
I can’t really recall what day we went canoeing but it wasn’t pleasant. For those of you that have not tried canoeing before, it is not as easy as you think it is. Of course me being a smart ass, thought how hard could it be? I just have to move my hands. I use my hands everyday for various activities anyway…
We rented this 2 seater canoe and decided that I should sit in front and Sammi behind; for balancing and aerodynamic purposes. I will explain a little bit on canoeing. When you paddle you have to paddle in sequence or else your canoe will only turn in circles and not move forward. Being that the idiots that we are we rocked the canoe so much it over turned like 500 times. When the canoe overturns water gets in the canoe and you have to carry it up upside down to allow the water to flow out.
Now, a little bit about Langkawi. It’s a duty free island. Smokes and booze are cheaper than water and oxygen. So here we have 2 heavily smoked drunk idiots thinking we were canoeing world champions. After 10 minutes of paddling faster than jet skis we had this conversation:
Fawked: canoeing is not easy
Sammi: no shit man
Fawked: at least we’re moving forward
Sammi: yea we are, hey catch up with the babes
Fawked: paddle faster than
**we were quite far out and I turned back to look and…
Fawked: HEY ASSHOLE WHY AREN’T YOU PADDLING
Sammi: I am
Fawked: no you weren’t!
Sammi: YES I WAS
Fawked: YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT!
Sammi: YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?!
After that we got into a little fight and we flipped the canoe for the 501th time. Canoeing is not easy, especially in the hot sun and while you’re suffering from a bad hangover. It Would be cool if you had a hot chick partner. You could canoe out into the ocean then purposely flip the canoe then go on a "rescue" mission.
rss
