A couple of years back while we were having a drink at the mamak stall felt my ass was kinda itchy. I thought an ant bit my ass or something. I started scratching my ass then continued my conversation with my friends. My ass still hurt so I tried wriggling my ass against the chair and took no notice of it.
Soon after my ass felt like it was on fire. When I stood up I saw a whole damn chilli was smashed up on the chair. This was no ordinary chilli, it was a crossbred cheap ass fire chilli. This type of chilli is fucking huge like the normal chilli and its fucking HOT. I was wearing jeans and my ass was burning.
As I stood up, the air must have got into my pants and intensified the burning sensation or something. I tried walking a bit but the fucking pain was un-bearable. I ran into the toilet to put my ass under the tap.
By now the fucking burning sensation reached my nut sack and asshole. I put my ass under the pipe for a good 20 minutes. Let me just tell you, you can’t wash the burn off. It just sooths you momentarily. As soon as you switch the water off, the burning sensation comes back and bites you in the ass.
mamak: hey Fawked you ok?
Fawked: NO I’M NOT. FUCK YOU, FUCKING TAMBI SHIT.
mamak: what’s up?
Fatboi: he sat on a chilli.
mamak: HAHAHAHA.
Fawked: I’m going to beat your ass, you asshole.
mamak: HAHAHAHA.
The morale of this story is always check your seat. You don’t want to accidentally sit on this Hell Vegetable they call the overgrown chilli padi. My balls and asshole was burning for a good 5 hours. It’s a good thing my balls still produce good quality Grade A sperm.
