It was a Friday night. Everybody was at home sleeping so Dragon and I decided to have a few beers. I don’t know why but the last couple of days I’ve been dreaming about drinking beer. I never drink beer, even if I do, I drink very very little. Note: This particular night I was totally wasted. We reached Atmosphere about 11, it was still happy hour so I opened 2 jugs and a bottle of Bombay Sapphire Dry Gin. 2 jugs for Dragon and the Sapphire for me. It has been almost a year since I got totally wasted. I start to think I can drink a lot. I start doing Beer and Gin shot combos. The night went pretty good. Nothing notable happened until I went to the toilet, while having a piss I had this conversation:
DJ Love: Hey man, you’re Fawked?
Fawked: ummm yeh
DJ Love: I’m DJ Loooovvvvvvve
Fawked: oh hey man, what’s up
DJ Love: nothing much man, so you’re the Fawkederrrrr, now I know
Fawked: yup
DJ Love: that dude standing beside you is your bodyguard? he follows you everywhere
Fawked: no man…
Head Waiter: dooood, thats our SVIP, have to follow him around man
DJ Love: cooool mannnn
Fawked: dude come over to my table and have a drink
DJ Love: will do man!
DJ Love comes over at my table. Something to note here, this guy can really drink. I pour him a shot of Gin and a glass of Beer. Head Waiter takes a mug and mixes more gin and beer. He probably drank a triple shot of Gin with Beer. Everybody introduced themselves and drank up. DJ Love went back to his deck to spin.
When it was time to go back, we went to our car and the following conversation ensued:
Fawked: I’m so drunk I don’t know if I can drive.
Dragon: you ok man?
Fawked: no
Dragon: can you drive?
Fawked: I don’t think so
Dragon: start puking
Fawked: good idea
I stepped out of the car and forced myself to puke. I don’t remember how I drove, which road I took. I remember stopping 3 times to puke. I can’t remember where I stopped the first and second time. But I remember the third time clearly. The third time I stopped at a bus stop near our destination.
Dragon: you’re going to puke again?
Fawked: YES DAMN IT
Dragon: ok, take it easy
Kung Fu Beggar: HEYYYY DOOOD, DONT PUKE HERE
Fawked: what the? shut up and get lost
Kung Fu Beggar: man… we have to take care of the cleanliness of this area
Dragon: SHUT UP UP OR I’LL BEAT YOUR ASS
Kung Fu Beggar: ok ok relax
I was sitting at the bus stop and Kung Fu Beggar was squatting behind me. Then he did a stupid mistake of coming out from the bushes so he could stand in front of me. He stood in front of me and started moving his hands in my face. A note: I’m not sure if he was a beggar cause he wore nicer cloths than me, I’m also not sure if he’s a drug addict cause he was very much fatter than me, he was most likely drunk or high on something. It was now that he spurted out the gem of the night:
KungFu Beggar: MANNNNN, DONT PUKE AT MY HOME! I WANNA SLEEP HERE!
Fawked: wtf?
Dragon: ok that’s it, you’re dead
That was when Dragon went crazy. He started to flying kick Kung Fu Beggar. Dragon did about 4 flying kung fu kicks and missed all. Kung Fu Beggar begins to think his Matrix evasion rocks. Either that or Dragon is drunker than I thought. Note: I had to pulled Dragon away before he killed Kung Fu Beggar. I actually walked away from his “home” to go puke on the grass a few meters away. I’m trying very hard to puke so I can drive the few remaining kilometers to our destination and this bastard Kung Fu Beggar comes and talks smack in my face again. That was the last straw. I was going to beat his ass then puke on him. Dragon and I start flying kicking. We did like 20 flying kicks and only landed 3, the last 3.
Kung Fu Beggar: wooooo ahhhhhhhhh, haiiiii eeeeeeeeeee (while doing Bruce Lee moves)
Fawked: KICK HIS ASS MAN
Dragon: I missed, I thought he was standing closer
Fawked: where he go?
Dragon: he’s in front of you
Passerby: hey what you guys doing?
Fawked: shut up or you’re next
Dragon: who said that? I’ll beat your ass
The last 3 kicks made the Kung Fu Beggar fall to the ground. We started stomping on him. Now he stops making his Bruce Lee noises and starts rolling on the ground away from us. He was practically rolling away from us on the ground.
More people stop in the middle of the road to see and ask what’s up.
Spectator: HEY WHATS GOING ON?
Dragon: YOU SHUT UP AND DRIVE AWAY
Spectator2: HEY STOP FIGHTING!
Fawked: SHUT THE F**K UP IF DONT WANT TO GET YOUR ASS KICKED
Kung Fu Beggar: ok OK, you win. stop hitting me…
Fawked: you shut up. i don’t want to see your dirty ass around here anymore
Dragon: I see you here, I’m going to kill you
Kung Fu Beggar: ok ok I go away
I didn’t get to puke and I drove the remaining kilometers to our destination. I saw Match’s car there so I asked Dragon to call him to send me home. Sammi was also there so he could send Dragon home. Before went home we went to a Mamak to eat. They did all the eating. I just slumped on the table puking my guts out while they ate.
**As of this update, I don’t go clubbing anymore. Have not been for at least 3-4 years now. Bad shit always happen when I’m out drunk.
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